Over the past 2 months, I have been working with a group of wonderful clients who were early adopters of our personalised coaching services, to develop our first coaching product. It’s tried, tested and proven effective, according to our ratings on trustpilot, so we are now happy to launch this tool kit free to all of you who want to make some changes but are not sure how. This 3 part series is a comprehensive guide to building a new future for yourself. Dig in and let us know how it goes! Remember to take each part step by step.
How many of us have ended up in a career, instead of choosing it? Many of us have experienced performing jobs at which we are talented but lack true passion for. Whether it was economics, career guidance, those lovely people known as our parents, we often succumb to external influences about where we should be, what we should be earning, what we should be doing, Instead of connecting to what we deeply desire.
First I need to say that this is normal, and it also does not prohibit feelings of success, or achieving a higher sense of purpose. It can be perfectly reasonable to continue as we are if most of our hierarchy of needs are being met.
For some of us though, this is utterly boring and we need something more. We want to get even closer to that self actualisation goal on our pyramid. When you go through a guided coaching programme, you uncover what your pyramid consists of. There are no social rules that determine what is on your pyramid, or how you achieve it. The process encourages you to generate for yourself with support what you truly desire, how you need to achieve it, and what are the rewards and consequences of every action along the way.
In May 2019, I left a great corporate job to pursue my pyramids goals. That decision came with great immediate rewards. I travelled the world, reconnected with friends, learned more about other cultures and in so doing about myself. I started a company. I began to coach friends. I began to coach strangers. I started to do small business startup and consulting projects. It also came with consequences. Sometimes I am not certain where my next bank credit will come from because that certainty is now gone. I knew this would be the case, and I prepared for it.
There is no definitive right thing to do when it comes to making decisions that involve your cognition and your emotion, but guidance with coaching can help you to reveal what is important to you.
Creating a map of what you value before undertaking any major changes in your life is key. Your values will become your guides, helping you navigate key decisions on your journey.
You will need a few tools to get started.
1. A notebook with five or more sections
2. A highlighter and a Pen
3. Some private, quiet space and time. It would be good to put aside half a day for this.
Reflect on your happiest times
This exercise aims to accomplish 2 things. It gets you into a positive mental frame, which is essential to this work. It also connects you with values you held highly in the past but are taking for granted today.
a. What was my favourite experience under 13 with my family and, why?
b. What was my favourite past time with my friends between age 13-18 and, why?
c. What was the most enjoyable thing that I did on my own either as a child or a teenager and, why?
What are you grateful for right now?
Any time you sit to write or reflect, get into the habit of gratitude. This helps with perspective-taking and giving a greater appreciation of where you are right now. It also makes you more aware of what defines your comfort zone. Aim to write 3 things you are grateful for and why. What have these experiences unlocked for you?
What are you grateful for in your lifetime?
Everyone has a different experience of this exercise. You may find that here you start to access some catalysts for change in your life, that moved you into a stretch zone. Aim to write 3 memories and why they were so transformational.
Who are you when you are at your absolute best?
For this exercise, you need to write down everything you remember about a past situation when you were at your best. Consider writing three or more situations at this level of detail. For each situation, you need to record:
a.When was it (Month, Year, Day if you can remember it) how old you were, what stage of your life was it
b. Who was there, and who was involved in that moment
c. What was the experience and what gave you that sense of being at your best
d. How was your best illustrated? What behaviours were on display? What was happening inside you? What happened to others around you?
e. What reinforcement did you receive for this feeling of being at your best from your environment?
f. What did you do leading up to that moment to enable you being your best?
g. What did you take away from that moment in terms of personal beliefs?
What do you value most in others?
What values attract you to other people? For many, you may find that these are common to your own. For others, its another way to acknowledge something that you value but other things may be holding you back. To do this, I recommend choosing three examples from the following list of 10:
1. Your best friend.
2. Your partner.
3. A parent.
4. A sibling.
5. A professor.
6. A previous boss or leader.
7. A public figure.
8. A character from a book or movie.
9. A sporting hero.
10. A Comedian.
Write down what they do that makes a difference for you in one paragraph. If you want, you can perform the exercise on the top 3 of this category, or everyone. Performing the exercise for the full list unlocks hidden meaning in your life.
Take the work you have done from the sections above and with a highlighter, start calling out those key values. When you have a list, start halving the list. Keep halving until you get to about three key things you want in your life. It is important to note some values can be away from values – things you want to avoid, while some can be toward values – things you want to move toward.
Values are an essential force on our behaviours, so you may want to be deliberate in prioritising them. If you and your values are not consciously aligned, you may find that you are sabotaging your goals without understanding why. Giving an earnest attempt at the above will help you to reveal what’s truly important to you, and assists in making better strategic plans for your life.
The next instalment in this series will be revealing your goal. Be sure to make an earnest attempt at this exercise before moving on to other steps. Good Luck!
For additional support, get in touch with me here. We also offer free tailored templates to help you go through the steps, with other guides and tips.